We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and

we're taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon,Washington,

Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We

believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially

to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.

We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot

Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.

We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.

We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You

get Alabama.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states

pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the

Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a

bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and

anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at

once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have

kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no

purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their

children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and

hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our

resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent

of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple

and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of

America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners)

90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most

of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and

condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale,

Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88

percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care

costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the

tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern

Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh,

Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was

actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred

unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say

that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved

in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy b*****ds believe you are people

with higher morals then we lefties.

By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt

weed they grow in Mexico.

Peace out,

Blue States

I dont think this is going to be a good day, thank God I took off work, I fell down a couple of stairs this morning letting the dog outside, landed on my side, good god, it  was 5am when I did this, no one around except the dog, and he kinda looked at me as if to say, u okay ....

I voted, went straight Democrat, and I voted for the medical pot (hoping this passes) .... thinks I ll go into selling it - can you imagine the profit ??

I voted yea,  First time I saw police out there directing traffic, I wish they would move my voting station, its in a gym, and there are 2 precincts that vote in there, which makes it very crowded ... we used the fill in the box ballots, no punch cards, or automatic machines - which is what I like !!!

I was 21 the first time, then I lost my roomie, then when I was 22 and I never went back, its hard to leave and come back - its that taste of freedom that gets into your blood,  I would hope its harder to come back home after being at college .....

I just answered this Featured Question; you can answer it too!

(Pennsylvania) - When firefighters were called out to rescue a man stuck in
a port-a-potty, they were expecting to find an overturned toilet with the
victim of a practical joke inside. Instead, when they arrived at the former
Harold's Furniture store in the 600 block of Cumberland Street of Lebanon,
they found 31-year-old Shannon P. Hunter of Lebanon. He was drunk, naked and
wedged up to his waist in the hole of the toilet, Deputy Fire Commissioner
Chris Miller said.

Alcatraz was not a recreational prison. It was a
place of penitence, just as the Quakers who had devised the American
prison system had planned for all prisons to be. There were no
trustees here. It was a place where the inmates had but five
rights... food, clothing, a private cell, a shower once a week and
the right to see a doctor.

Why do we like horror films, amusement park rides and…
Halloween? Researchers have discovered that a look of horror
makes a faster first impression on our brains than a smile. Our
brains become aware of fearful faces more quickly than those
showing other emotions—an evolutionary adaptation that has
kept humans safe.

Psychologist David Zald says, "There are reasons to believe
that the brain has evolved mechanisms to detect things in
the environment that signal threat. One of those signals is a
look of fear. We believe that the brain can detect certain
cues even before we are aware of them, so that we can
direct our attention to potentially threatening situations in
our environment…What we believe is happening is that the
happy faces signal safety. If something is safe, you don't
have to pay attention to it."